It can be hard finding the right balance between when should begin having sex or if you should wait longer. Of course if you are only interested in casual relationships, then why would you wait at all? If you want to do it, then do it. If you’re afraid of anyone thinking you’re slutty for doing it, then keep the encounter to yourself or get new friends that won’t judge you.
Let your inner Samantha Jones shine.
However, most of the time, if you have sex with a guy on the first night you meet him or the first date, it will turn out to be a one night stand and you may never see him again. This isn’t always a bad thing depending on what you want.
If you are looking for something a bit longer or maybe you really like this guy a lot, you will need to do a bit of waiting. He needs to earn your trust and your closeness first. By waiting, you show a certain respect for the relationship that you both are building. You also give him the opportunity to work for you, and everyone values what they work for much more than what’s simply handed to them. If he is not willing to wait, he is not looking for the same thing you are looking for and should probably move on.
However, if you wait too long, you may frustrate him and soon become his conquest that he has to conquer. He will likely stop enjoying the build up of the relationship and just want to get it over with. This is not what you want. This is also a common mistake that many women make. If he shows signs of genuine interest in pursuing a relationship with you, then you may decide to have sex. Genuine interest is not in the words, but in the actions. Make sure the sex is good and worth the wait! He will appreciate it that much more.
Dan Silverman,
MDC Executive Dating Coach