I recently did four consultations this week, and each of the consultations, I realized a common element that hit home for most of these guys.

We men tend to communicate directly. We listen to the words and the meaning. What we say is what we mean. We normally don’t bullshit with each other, and we try to make sure what we talk about is relevant and to the point.

Women, on the other hand, don’t communicate this way. They use words and language to communicate emotion. When an attractive and obviously in shape woman says, “OMG, I look so fat.” A man will usually perceive this as, “She thinks she’s fat. Okay.” And not really know what to say. He’s listening to the words and the direct meaning of the statement she’s made. When the man doesn’t answer, or responds with, “Oh.” Or “No you aren’t.” This infuriates a woman.

Now let’s get into the realm of chick language. When she says, “OMG, I look so fat.” She doesn’t think she’s ACTUALLY fat. She knows she’s hot, but what she’s doing is communicating an emotion, “I want attention. I want you to make me feel beautiful.”

Now, just because you notice the emotion SHE is communicating, doesn’t mean you’ll respond to it properly. If you say, “No, you’re beautiful.” In a matter of fact tone of voice, you’ll infuriate her even more! However, if you don’t say a word, walk straight up to her, look her dead in the eyes for a few seconds, and kiss her softly and gently on the forehead, you’ve communicated in a powerful way, that you think she is beautiful. This is chick language, and there were no words said.

If you study routines and learn attraction, you’ll notice that most of the material is very childish, completely random, and irrelevant. That’s because you’re looking at it from the perspective of a guy. None of it makes ANY logical sense. Let’s take a look at an attraction building routine.

“Oh my god, you guys are like little aliens. You both look at each other at the same time EVERY SINGLE TIME I say something! See?! You did it again. Stop it! You guys are so creepy, it’s scaring me. I love you!”

To the untrained eye, this appears blasphemous and crazy. It makes no logical sense and nothing was accomplished or directly communicated in this routine.

However, if you look for the emotions you are communicating behind it, you may begin to see all the subtle emotions you’re sending, (fun, playful, confidence, etc.). When you communicate in emotions, women respond powerfully. When this routine is said right, they will laugh their heads off, not caring that you just called them little aliens.

Next time you talk to a woman in a conversation, pay attention to how she is feeling as she talks. In your speech, play with your tonality and facial expressions to communicate different emotions. You will notice how unbelievably malleable a woman’s emotions are. You can make her go from a bored-annoyed state to a hyper-fun state back to bored again in less than ten seconds.

When you know how to communicate in chick language, your game will vastly improve, and it will be much easier to understand a woman’s constant ambiguous signals.