What To Do and How To Do It
What’s up guys?
I dedicated this newsletter to several questions that have been sent in.
Qs and As
Q: What do I say when I see a girl in a store or walking along the street?
A: If you’re on a time constraint, create a quick direct opener and qualify her before you arrange a meet or phone number.
If you have a bit of time, you can also open with a quick opinion opener, followed by a really interesting story. Stop during the high points of the story and use time constraints like you have to be on your way soon. Bait her into keeping you there for another minute to finish the story after you by giving her a time constraint, or if she is in a hurry, get an email or number so you can “tell her the rest” and continue the sarge on the phone.
Q: How do I stop her?
A: Approach from an angle in front her. Never approach a woman directly or from behind. Give her enough time to see you walking up to her so she sees that you aren’t flinching and looking nervous. Smile! Look confident, playful, and like you can handle social pressure. She will judge you the most in that three second time frame. Many of you guys forget to smile or put on a fake smile. Don’t do it. Make yourself enjoy the conversation or the interaction. If you’re not enjoying the conversation, she likely won’t either.
Q: How do I know if a girl really likes me and is not just there being nice?
A: The newbie answer to this question is: If she has a playful vibe with you or she builds the sexual tension on her own.
The advanced answer to this question is: Everything a girl does means she really likes you. (Think about how productive this frame might affect your overall game.)
Q: If a girl does give me her phone number, what do I say on the phone?
A: Treat it like you’ve just opened her for the first time again and begin with the 90/10 rule until you spark the attraction again. If you said a really funny thing when you met her, do an emotional recall to bring her back into state by mentioning it again like an inside joke. Tell her a “funny story” that just happened to you or your friend and continue from there. Wash, rinse, repeat until the attraction is back and you can feel she is really enjoying the conversation. Then, build comfort with her as long as you like and arrange a meet when you feel she has some emotional connection to you.
Q: How many times should I talk to her on the phone before asking her out?
A: Until you have calibrated her comfort levels to be good enough to hang out. Ask her after building some rapport with her. If it takes more than one phone call, so be it. Sometimes just showing that you aren’t that interested in a meet by not asking her out the first call is enough to make her want to hang out with you. Ask her out if she hints at hanging out. A more advanced way is to get her to suggest a meet and make her work for it as though she is picking you up.
Q: What if I get her voicemail?
A: Unless you are sure she’ll call you back because you ran tight game prior to the call, call back later. However, don’t call more than twice in the same day.
Q: If I have to take a girl out on a date, where should I take her? If to a bar, what if she is only 20? What if she doesn’t drink?
A: Go anywhere that is low pressure on her. This makes it far more likely that she will hang out with you. If she lives nearby you, tell her to meet you at your place, have her go on many errands with you, and cook what you bought at the grocery store with her at home. The purpose of a day2 is to build comfort. Take her to as many venues as possible so she feels like she’s known you longer than she actually has. Have her bring her friends. Plan the meet for only a couple hours. Malls, city streets like coconut grove, are all good places because there are multiple venues that have many conversations built in.
Q: How do I act when girls are really mean and bitchy?
A: Plow through, then neg her off her pedestal. Don’t take it personally and overneg her. Do it until you can sense that she respects you enough. Call her on her bad behavior in a playful way, or just chuckle at her and ignore her. Tell her she has something in between her teeth and stick your pinkie towards her front teeth. Do whatever you need to do to show her that you “aren’t interested.” Don’t be mean, be playful.
Q: How can I talk to the girl and all of her friends in a club when she can barely hear me herself?
A: Put your hand next to her ear and speak into her ear. Don’t peck or lean over! If you’re attempting to engage the group, communicate with your body and hands. Communicate non-verbally. Make them laugh by making fun of your target. An example of this is pushing her away from you and giving the friends an “Oh my god, I can’t believe this girl!” face.
Q: Why is kingpin so adorable and irresistible?
A: Cause when he lies down and turns to his side, his butt crack hangs out of his pants.
Q: After I get a girl’s number in a club, should I leave the club or keep hitting on others even if she sees me?
A: Stick around if there are more women there you would like to meet. Don’t let her see you hitting on other women, let her see other women hitting on you. There is a difference! This creates a bit of jealousy. Women don’t realize they are attracted to you until they feel jealousy or the fear of losing you. Seeing you with other women will only raise your value in her eyes, but if she sees you picking up women in front of her after you just got her number, she will feel devalidated and won’t want to answer phone calls from a manwhore.
Q: I can’t seem to get myself to approach! How do I get rid of that fear?!
A: Approaching is like jumping into a freezing cold pool. You just have to do it. Either dive the in or slowly get in. In other words, just go in and screw up the first set on purpose (throwaways) to get the anxiety off your chest and get in state, or do three or four warm up sets by approaching any random stranger, guy, or girl and just chat them up about anything. Ask directions, opinions, whatever, just for the sake of getting chatty and warmed up. To get rid of that fear to a great degree requires massive reframing, which I am more than happy to do in an Inner Game Boot Camp.
End of Qs and As
I hope this helps any of you who have been sending these questions in. Feel free to send in more if you have any.
Always Loving Latin Women,
Dan Silverman,
MDC Executive Dating Coach
“I’m not saying that I’m the best there ever is and I’m better than everybody. What I am saying is, I’ve learned a lot of things and I’ve taken years of study and condensed them into what I’m about to teach you.”
-David DeAngelo: Advanced Series-