In the last dating seminar we hosted, we received a good question from a student. He asked, “Sometimes when I’m out meeting women, my mind goes a million miles an hour and I can’t stop thinking. I keep thinking about what I should say next, what I should have done, and I’m stuck in my head. How do I get myself out of this freeze up?”
Sometimes this is caused by fear, nervousness, or anxiety, but this particular student informed me that he wasn’t nervous, he was just thinking too much. Overthinking will put you in a kind of social paralysis. If you notice that you’ve frozen up and your mind is going a million miles an hour, don’t panic! The way out of this trap is to shift your logical thinking into emotional thinking.
Have you ever experienced a moment during a night out when you felt like you were on fire? You just glowed with confidence, were living in the moment, and didn’t have a care at all? You felt great, like you could do no wrong, the women picked up on it, and were attracted to you because of it. This is because your mind was entirely in an emotional state. This is the state you want to aim for when you’re out.
So how do we get there, especially when we are stuck in a rut? Here’s how.
Have fun!
It’s as simple as that. Do wild and crazy stuff. Amuse yourself. Walk up to a complete stranger and ask them if they like pink puppies or aliens better. Ask someone who they think would win in a fight, Britney Spears or Justin Timberlake? Do things that generate fun and excitement, and at the same time make absolutely no sense. You want to get your mind out of the logical mindset and into an emotional one.
If you’re out with a wing, you can crack jokes about people, or discuss completely random and useless things for the sake of getting playful.
Try and see if this works for you the next time you find yourself freezing up. I’m sure it will work. Also, check out my ebook the Seven Steps to Inner Game Power.
Dan Silverman,
MDC Executive Dating Coach