You see a woman who is at the bar by herself. She’s gorgeous. You want to talk to her, but this fear overcomes your whole body. You freeze up. You start thinking of what to say, but you come up with nothing. You’re in your head and you can’t seem to get out of this rut. Before you know it, she walks off with her girlfriends and the opportunity is over.
We’ve all experienced approach anxiety. It sucks. It prevents us from meeting women and taking advantage of approach opportunities. My ebook is just about finished and inside of it, I go through every possible step you can take to eliminate approach anxiety for good. When it is finished, you can check it out at innergamepower.com.
For now, I will teach you a few quick fixes, though not effective in the long-term, to eliminate approach anxiety enough to get you to approach.
Warm Up Sets: When you enter the club, why go straight for the groups of women that intimidate you the most? Approach strangers that don’t intimidate you like the bouncer, bartender, or waitresses. These people are paid to be nice to you. They can help get you in a chatty mood and out of your head. Approach friendly looking people, ask for a quick opinion, and leave. Take it slow at first and build yourself up to longer conversations. Once you get warmed up and chatty, you can move on to the women you’re interested in.
Throwaways: Your likely feeling approach anxiety because you are afraid of rejection. To get over this fear, you need to get rejected and have fun while doing it. Open groups of people with lines that are sure to get you rejected such as, “Hey, I’m looking to pick up girls tonight. Do you know where I should go?”, “My grandmother is coming in town this weekend, but she doesn’t have a place to stay. Can she stay with you?”, or “I am the kissing bandit! You must kiss me before you can pass!” This is fun as hell if you actually try it and it will help you develop a carefree attitude when approaching. Most of the time, the women will laugh and it will actually work in your favor.
Primers: If all else fails and you can’t even do the two exercises above, use primers. Primers are any means of physically warming yourself up. Jumping up and down, shaking furiously, and even yelling “Woooooooooooohoooooo!!!!!” are ways to prime yourself up just enough to get you to do your first warm up set. If you’re with a wing, start pushing each other forcefully. This is what football players do just before they play a game to get in a fighting state.
Try these out and let me know how they work for you. Remember, you feel approach anxiety because of insecurities. Insecurities do not just go away with time. They have to be worked on. When my ebook Seven Steps to Inner Game Power is released, please purchase a copy to learn how to eliminate your approach anxiety for good.
Dan Silverman,
MDC Executive Dating Coach