First Jump Out Of The Plane

Thursday I officially joined the seduction community.

It was my first time out sarging with other pick-up artist. I'd been reading for weeks, studying Mystery Method and Speed Seduction, and I finally got the balls up to call Stripper, from PAIR. I'd emailed back and forth with him a few weeks before, but I never called him.

Two days ago, I did, and he gave me Jester's number. I almost didn't call Jester. Seemed like I was already having to go through too much hassle. Plus, when I finally did call, he didn't pick up and I had to leave a message.

He called me back with the info for Thursday's outing, and I seriously considered just forgetting about the whole thing. I didn't want to go through the anxiety of meeting new guys, then letting them in on the fact that I needed help communicating with girls, and add to that the stress of actually having to approach girls in front of these guys. Forget it. I didn't need this shit.

But I did. I needed it bad, and I didn't know how bad until the night was over.

When I did get in touch with Jester, he put me at ease. He let me know how everyone had started in the same place, and how there would be no pressure. I believed him for a while. Until we actually got to the grove.

The group consisted of four guys, Jester, Kingpin, Brady, and me. As we walked the streets of the Grove, Brady shot toward a two-set of 8s and opened. I watched in amazement at how fast and easily he had approached, and dread exploded in my gut. I'd never be able to do that.

"There he goes," Kingpin said.

"We call him The Machine," Jester said. "You know the three second rule? With The Machine it's like the one second rule."

We went into a small bar just to warm up, and I watched as the guys approached different sets with ease and confidence. All three of them were like masters of their own little realms that engulfed any and all who came within its boundaries.

We worked our way over to a bigger bar. I'd never been there before, and I can't even remember the name of the place I was so nervous. Thoughts, routines, fears, amazement all kept me too preoccupied to really pay attention to my environment.

After grabbing a pitcher of beer, Jester, Kingpin, and I sat on a set of couches by the pool tables next to two girls engulfed in their own conversation. Kingpin leaned over the table and spoke to me in a low voice.

"You're going to open those girls next to you."

You know how sometimes, when you're really scared, your nutsack shrinks to the size of walnuts? Mine shrank to the size of fucking raisins.

I swallowed and nodded dumbly.

"Now listen," Kingpin continued. "I'm going to give you my best material. This works practically every time." He went on to teach me the "my friend's going on a date tomorrow" opener. From that, shift into hearing horror stories of the girls' bad dates. Then, stop them cold, look at the target, and go with the "I have an intuition about you" line: good girl front, bad girl inside. He taught me how to handle this no matter what response I got from the girl. Then to the lying test. He stopped there. That was enough material, he said, and made me practice.

"Make sure you talk from here," he boomed, holding his hand on his chest. "You might think people will be listening"—he was still booming his voice, and I did think people would be turning their heads in our direction—"but see, no one notices. Everyone's in their own world."

"We're going to be watching you," Jester said, "and we'll break down your techniques when you're done."

I took a deep breath. This was the moment that I'd been working myself up for. All the reading, all the studying, the risk of putting myself out there to be made fun of if my AFC friends ever found out. Another deep breath. I leaned over.

"I'm sorry to bother you"—and they both stopped talking, their eyes turned to me, and the fear and anxiety, to my astonishment, began to dissipate as a valve in my pressure system had been opened—"but I need a female's opinion . . ."

And off I went. I worked over to the lying game. While I was halfway through that, Brady slapped me on the back as he was walking around to his gazillionth set of the night and said, "Do you know what pecking is?"

I had no fucking clue at the time, which is why I didn't correct the problem. But I found out later and saw my flaw.

To make a long story short, I got the girl to come over to my couch. We talked. I ran some SS patterns on her that I had learned (Discovery Channel and Incredible Connection). She was eating it up. When I pointed to her chest with the incredible connection, I saw her melt.

Jester motioned for me to number close when he saw her group mobilizing to take off. I handed her my cell phone and didn't say a word. She automatically entered her number and name. Score. I pointed my cheek. Another score. When she'd turned and gone, Jester handed me a candy necklace and told me to give it to her. I did, and got another kiss on the cheek out of it.

When she was gone, I took a deep breath and shook hands with the guys. My confidence was somewhere up in the stratosphere. The rest of the night, I opened another set and stayed in it for a good twenty minutes. Kingpin and Jester came along and made me look like the man while in set. Brady joined in and we ran routines on the girls. Great fun. I left with another number.

On the way back to the car, the guys opened a three-set outside. Again, they just threw things left and right at the girls, who before we'd gotten there had been bored as hell. Turns out one of the girls had been in one of my psych classes over the summer, and I got her number as well.

I learned a ton on this first night. I felt like I was a new man, like the fear I'd always had of approaching girls was gone forever.

"The fear is never gone," Kingpin told me. "It will be back next time. It's always going to be there. We feel it. Everyone feels it. You just learn to manage it."

I didn't believe him at the time. I felt changed. I was superman. I was on my way to becoming a PUA. On the way home, I couldn't help laughing and pumping my fist inside my car. I couldn't fall asleep when I got home thinking of the new possibilities in front of me.

I didn't out how true Kingpin's words were until the next day.

Fear was back when I went to make the phone calls. One girl didn't remember me, and I said something stupid like, "God, am I that forgettable…I'm hanging up now."

She hung up instead.

The other girl, I got a machine. After another call about three hours later, I left a message, trying to be funny.

Haven't heard from her.

The last girl, I did get on the phone. She sounded happy that I'd called. She was ordering food, but still trying to keep up a conversation with me, so I told her I'd call her back later. I did, and she didn't pick up. I left a message.

Still haven't heard from her.

My confidence had been blurred away.

I texted Jester and Kingpin, hoping to meet up with them Friday night as well in order to continue my development. Jester called, but said he was just meeting up with his business class and really was going to turn in early.

Kingpin said he'd call me when he was heading out. I was pumped.

Time to repeat the night before.

But when he did call me, it wasn't fear that grabbed me, but panic. A panic that I'd never felt. I made an excuse and stayed in with my AFC friends.

It's easier to stay with what you know, even if you're not happy with it. Fear is the worst enemy of positive change.

It's my goal to overcome this fear. Problem is, once I've achieved that goal one night, I'll have to overcome the same obstacle the next night just to reach the same goal again. And again. How long?

At least I see the enemy now. I thought this enemy had been vanquished with Thursday's successes, but now I know it's an insidious foe, conducting a kind of gorilla warfare, creeping and hiding and only ambushing at the most opportune moments.

I'm determined to be ready for it's next ambush. I wait eagerly for the next chance.

-Lex Luthor-