dating coach

Approach anxiety is the sudden wave of terror a person feels just before approaching a woman. This is caused by not being in the proper mind state, a lack of confidence, a lack of experience approaching women, a fear of rejection, and from caring too much what other people think of you. Many guys, even players, have approach anxiety because they rarely do cold approaches, and they only meet women through their social circles. Working on your inner game is the only way to overcome approach anxiety.

A cold approach is the act of approaching a woman or a group of people whom you’ve never met before. The opposite of a cold approach is a warm approach, which is approaching someone you know, are acquainted with, or are introduced to by someone else.

Mystery’s three second rule states that you must approach a set within three seconds. The reason behind this is so you 1. Don’t linger and creep people out and 2. Give yourself no time to get worked up and nervous by thinking too much. PUAs use the three second rule to help overcome approach anxiety by not giving their minds a chance to react with fear.

Also known as the Alpha Girl. The Alpha Chick is the dominant woman in a group of women. She is either your best friend of your biggest obstacle when you are trying to meet and date her friend. You must win over the AC before you can try and pick up any of the girls in her group. The AC provides the protector and mother role in their social circle. Though she may be an obstacle, she has kept other men from approaching the girls in their group. Therefore, if you win over the AC, the other women will be far more receptive towards your advances since they haven’t suffered an onslaught of men.

An average frustrated chump (AFC) is also known as the “nice guy” or the “friend”.  A nice person who is consistently frustrated with failure in the dating scene.  An AFC has no clue and no skills.  An AFC makes all the common mistakes like buying women drinks, taking first dates out to fancy restaurants and getting them flowers to try and impress them.  An AFC relies primarily on luck and thinks that one day a woman will magically fall in his lap.  AFCs are typically doormats and emotional dumps for women.  It’s a hard to realize that you are an AFC, but a necessary one if you want to succeed in dating.  We’ve all been there, so don’t be ashamed of it! Read why being an AFC will destroy your dating life.

Approach invitations (AIs) are also known as proximity IOIs. AIs are when women consciously or unconsciously try and entice you to approach them. Some AIs are keeping eye contact with you and smiling, dropping something in front of you, standing in front of you for no apparent reason, etc. Take advantage of these opportunities. If you wait too long, you will destroy the attraction she may have for you.

An NLP conversation skills concept. Anchoring is creating an emotional response to a stimulus. For example, touching a girl’s wrist every time she laughs will anchor her wrist being touched to laugher. She will feel laughter when you touch her wrist. Saying the word “love” every time she feels loved will anchor the word “love” with feeling loved. Having many conversations about pleasure will link the emotion of pleasure to you. Conversely, letting her talk about her boyfriend problems to you long enough will make you remind her of her jerk of a boyfriend every time she sees you.

Anti-slut defense (ASD) is the result of a woman trying to pull away or sabotage the relationship caused by her fear of being perceived as a slut. A woman does not want to hold the responsibility of escalating sexually with you for fear of being considered a “slut.” You can trigger a woman’s ASD by trying to kiss her or take her home too soon, not providing her with a logical excuse as to why “it just happened”, or asking her to do something sexual. The best way to avoid ASD problems is by showing her that you will not judge her and appreciate her as a sexual, but respectable woman. You need to make her feel comfortable and safe around you. Treat her like a lady in public, and she will want to be treated like a slut in the bedroom.

Backwards rationale or chick logic is when a woman logically justifies herself in her mind after she acted upon her emotions in the moment. Chick logic helps them avoid social humiliation, feeling guilty about hooking up with a guy, going home with a guy, dating a guy, or sleeping with a guy. Remember to always provide a woman with a logical excuse as to why she acted on her emotions such as, “I only invited you for dinner”, “I said we’d only stay for thirty minutes” “You told me we wouldn’t have sex, but I couldn’t help myself because you’re too beautiful.” Obsolve her of any guilt and place the blame on yourself. Women greatly appreciate this. Women know they acted upon their emotions, but the last thing they want to do is feel like a slut.

Boyfriend (BF) is also sometimes referred to as borefriend.

A bitch shield is a front that women put up to deter and protect themselves from the onslaught of losers and idiots that try to hit on her. It is also put on as a means to display high status in social competition against other women. Most women don’t realize that by putting up a bitch shield, they deter potentially great guys, and the only men who would desire dating a woman who appears to be a bitch are jerks. If you are one of those women who think that by appearing bitchy, you will be seen as more desirable, you are wrong. There are better ways to get him to notice you.

Buyer’s remorse (BR) is the feeling of regret a woman has after she hooked up with a man too soon, falls for you too quickly, or had sex with you on the first date for example. She will feel regret because of her social programming, which tells her that by doing these things, she is being slutty and needs to cut off the relationship. Men can also have buyer’s remorse, usually do to hooking up or taking a woman home when he otherwise wouldn’t have had he not been intoxicated.

The emotional reaction a woman has when you make her laugh hysterically, gets in a deep trance, or is overwhelmingly turned on. When a woman feels extreme attraction, she has hit buying temperature and is more likely to accept kino escalation or chase him if he pulls away.

Absolutely and utterly failing a pickup attempt. Crashing and burning can really take a toll on one’s confidence and it is important to not take it personally in order to say committed. It is a necessary part of the process of getting good at dating. Crash and burns should always be seen as learning experiences rather than failures.

Cocky and Funny (C&F) is David DeAngelo’s art of mixing cockiness with humor as a means of building attraction. Examples of cocky and funny lines are, “Stop undressing me with your eyes. God, why are women such pigs?”, “You can be the president of my fan club and your friend can be the treasurer. If she keeps being nice to me, maybe I’ll promote her to vice president.” “Do you always act like this around guys you like? Stop it, I’m not giving you my number.”

Comfort and Trust (C&T) is also known as comfort building, building rapport, and/or emotional connection. The art of making a person feel comfortable and a sense of trust associated with you. For women, comfort and trust is necessary for her to want to see you again and be alone with you. She has been burned, disappointed, and broken-hearted by many guys in the past. She needs to feel like she can trust you before she allows the relationship to go any further.

A cock block (CB) is when your pickup attempt gets interrupted by someone who doesn’t want to see you and your target together. Sometimes it’s an AMOG who attempts to cock block you. Just ignore him and keep talking to your target. Most of the time, it will be an AC or a jealous friend who will grab her by the shoulder and pull her away from you. To prevent this from happening, make sure you give the cockblock attention and let him or her know you are a cool guy, and therefore, not a threat.

Completing a pickup. An @close is getting an email, a #close is getting a number, a *close is getting a kiss, and an Fclose is going all the way. All of these closes are necessary steps to turning two strangers into a romantic, sexual relationship.

A closet natural is a person who is naturally great with the opposite sex, but either doesn’t know it yet, has been suppressing it, or had a succubus (see succubus) suck the soul out of him.

A cougar or MILF is an older and sexually mature woman who generally is attracted to much younger men. These women are typically spotted at the Delano’s and Shore Club on Miami Beach.

A day2 is a planned, low key, and low pressure meet up with a romantic interest of yours. Not to be confused with a date, which denotes paying and courting. The Day2s purpose is to bring two people closer together in the most comfortable way possible. Money is generally a non-issue on a day2 because day2s are typically in places which are free or very cheap like the mall, a pet store, a park, or parties with friends. Dates, however, are typically in nice restaurants where the man pays for an expensive dinner and gives her flowers. Dates are generally reserved for special women, the ones who are your girlfriend or will be soon. Taking women on dates early on is generally a bad idea because you put her on a pedestal without her ever having to earn your admiration. Learn why being a nice guy never pays off.

AMOG is a noun and a verb. The noun AMOG is a guy in a group of people who is obviously the dominant leader. It also means another guy who is trying to tool you out of your set. The verb AMOGing means to blow someone out of set or to compete for the attention of a set that other guys are trying to steal from you.

The doggy dinner bowl look (DDBL) is a phased out look on a person’s face when they are absolutely entranced by you. This is also when a person reaches buying temperature, making them most likely to accept sexual advances or chase you if you pull away.

A display of high value (DHV) is a conscious or unconscious act of showing attractive qualities about yourself. Some examples of DHVs are having all eyes focused on you in a conversation, dressing extremely well, displaying confidence, or showing that you are a leader. DHVs are best when they can be seen without you trying to show them off. For example, if you tell a woman that you are a doctor that makes $200,000 a year and you drive a Farrari, this would be a DLV because you are trying to sell yourself to her. There are much better ways of building attraction.

A display of low value (DLV) is a conscious or usually unconscious act of showing the unattractive qualities about yourself. Some examples of DLVs are, blatantly showing off, dressing like crap, leaning into her face while talking to her, acting creepy, acting nervous, talking about your ex girlfriend, or telling her that you haven’t been with a woman for five years.

Eye contact (EC) is making and keeping eye contact in an attractive, enticing way. Both men and women are very attracted to a person who can keep eye contact. It shows confidence and sexuality. Never look down when breaking eye contact because this shows weakness. Staring, however, is really creepy and should be avoided.

Eliciting values (EV) is finding out a person’s core values. You can do this by asking them questions about what is most important to them. Ask them what they think is really important in a relationship. You must do this before ever considering someone for a potential long term relationship. If you date someone who does not have similar values to you, the relationship will be short lived. Do you know what your values are? Do you know what you’re looking for in a girlfriend?

A fuck buddy (FB) is a friend with benefits. It is important to set expectations from the very beginning. Most women won’t mind being in a fuck buddy style of relationship as long as you don’t call it that in front of her or tell people about your relationship with other people. Never lie to a woman and give her false expectations of a relationship. If she is not comfortable with this kind of relationship, it won’t last long, and you’ll be spreading bad kharma.

Fluff talk is small talk. Conversation intended to fill space and just create a comfortable vibe. See also vibing. This is where conversation skills comes into play. The longer you can fluff, the more natural and comfortable you appear.

First minute resistance (FMR) is the emotional reaction a man feels before he approaches a woman for the first time. This is also called approach anxiety. It is the most common dating problem men have. This is the first aspect to conquer to build inner game mastery. See also LMR.

A field report (FR) is an article written describing the events of social adventure. You can write an FR in the Miami Lair Community Forums. Get feedback and advice on your adventure.

A false time constraint (FTC) is a statement designed to ease the tension or build the attraction of a group by making them believe you are just about to leave. Meeting strangers can be uneasy for some women, especially when they have been hit on by idiots all night. By showing that you don’t have much time to talk to them, they will be more willing to hear you out. You also show that you aren’t needy and have other people to talk to.