Why Men Stop Calling
Have you ever gone through a process where you are seeing a guy, but for some reason, he stops calling or doesn’t put anymore effort into progressing things with you? You wonder why men stop calling you.
This is actually quite common. I hear many women complain to me, “Dan, I don’t like to give out my number because guys stop calling me back after a couple phone calls. I don’t get why men stop calling me.”
Another complaint they tell me is that, “I don’t know why men stop calling, but out of nowhere he just doesn’t seem interested in me anymore. He doesn’t try to call me or ask me out.”
This is a common problem amongst women in our culture. Society says it is up to the man to put all the effort into progressing a relationship. We are told that the man is the one that should make all the moves like hand holding, calling, asking you out, and initiating kissing. While it is necessary for men to do most of the first moves, this doesn’t mean the woman must always take the passive seat in the relationship.
It is important for a man to feel like he is getting somewhere with the woman he desires. When you make a move, you are rewarding a man’s efforts by showing him that his efforts are winning you over. In psychology, this is called positive reinforcement.
If you don’t call a man once in awhile on your own, or suggest a meet up once in awhile, you will make him feel like you are uninterested. Guys don’t want their ego bruised, and if you don’t reinforce them to keep pursuing you, they feel like you don’t like them. That hurts us. So by playing hard to get all the time, you’re actually punishing us for chasing you, which is not what you want to do. This is why men stop calling you.
Reward his desirable behaviors. When a man calls you and tells you something really sweet that makes your day, let him know. But don’t just say it, act on it. Give him a head scratch the next time you see him and tell him it’s because he made your day. If you want him to keep calling you, give him a call once in awhile to let him know you enjoy his phone calls so that he feels you are truly interested. The biggest complaint men make about women is they lack making any effort to show appreciation. If you do this, you will stand out in a big way from the rest of women.
A man needs to know you are still interested in him and appreciated just as much as you need to know that you are still desired. The reason why men stop calling is because they don’t feel this from you.
I can remember seeing this girl who was wonderful when we went out together for the first time. After the first night though, she started behaving, to my perception, rudely and negatively. She wouldn’t return my phone calls days later or not at all. She wouldn’t commit to hanging out. Finally, I got fed up and stopped calling her. I figured she wasn’t interested in me anymore so I decided to move on to other women. A few weeks later, I got a call from her saying she was upset and she asked me why I didn’t call her anymore.
In my salsa parties, I dance with many different girls. The ones that I dance with are the ones that give me huge smiles when I walk up to them and the ones that tell me how much they love dancing with me. Of course I’m going to want to dance with those women. They make me feel great every time I dance with them. However, it never stops surprising me when a girl who never makes eye contact with me when I dance with her, doesn’t smile, acts aloof, shows no interest, or ever asks me to dance with her, walks up to me upset, or sends me a Facebook message later saying, “Why don’t you ever ask me to dance?”
Ladies, don’t be afraid to be proactive. Men aren’t as intuitive as you. We aren’t mind readers. When you react noncommittal or aloof, we’ll think you’re snobby or simply that you don’t like us. This is why men stop calling or pursuing you. A man’s ego is sensitive. He usually won’t work for a woman who he thinks doesn’t like him.
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Your Dating Coach,