Asking a Guy Out
I was recently asked a question from a reader about asking a guy out. She wrote:
I was reading about your company, the dating coach thing.. so for some free advise …. should a girl ever ask a guy out on a second date or just wait and see? p.s. im very single, do you set people up too?!-Jackie-
In response I wrote:
I set people up for fun, but I definitely plan on doing the match making thing in the future. I’ll give you a brief answer. Your problem isn’t a tactical one. It’s an inner game based one. You should not be super concerned with silly things like asking a guy out. If you were seeing several quality guys at the same time, you wouldn’t be too concerned over one guy and what he’s thinking.
However, I know that’s not what you want to hear so here you go. A woman needs to be pursued by a guy. The more you can make him work for you (without coming across as game playing or cold) the better. As a woman, you need to reward him for his good behavior. Don’t just make him work his ass off and be cold all the time. This just frustrates guys or makes them think you’re not interested. Any time you are asking a guy out or making advances, you are rewarding him. But what happens when we reward too much? People take us for granted. So, did he attempt to make your first date pleasant? Did he make you feel special? Is he making an effort to pursue you? If so, then yes, asking a guy out is appropriate for the second date. You want to reward him for his efforts asking a guy out. But if he’s been somewhat indifferent, and things are moving slowly, then you need to wait and let him ask you out. If you were busy dating other guys and he knew other guys were pursuing you, I guarantee he wouldn’t make you wait for a second date request that long.
Arm yourself with a professional dating coach and you won’t ever be concerned with silly things like asking a guy out again!
Your Dating Coach,
Dan Silverman