There are hundreds of ways of getting the number. Unfortunately, most guys think that they are the man if they can get a girl’s number. It may look really cool to your friends if you can get lots of numbers, but the truth is that numbers aren’t real relationships. Women give out their numbers for a variety of reasons. To get rid of you, to give them an ego boost, to look desirable in front of other men and their friends, to play with you, to have you keep calling until one day maybe they might be bored and decide to see you again, and maybe even because they want you to call them back. So, realize that the game isn’t over after you get the number. There are two philosophies when it comes to getting numbers. In fact, I believe there are two philosophies when it comes to game. I don’t believe either are wrong or better than the other, so I will explain both and tell you the pros and cons.
Philosophy one: The numbers game.
Some players are number collectors. They literally have books filled with women’s numbers. When they pick up girls, they are solely focused on getting the number so they can try to schedule a date alone.
Pros: You meet a lot of women! You also get terrific skill at opening and confidence building with each number you receive. You become so comfortable with rejection, that it no longer phases you because after all, it’s a numbers game and they can take you or leave you. You are never short of girls to call.
Cons: Most of the women you call will be flakes. Most of the women that do call you back will flake out on the first date. You rarely ever get practice at qualifying and comfort building because you always go straight for the number. You may meet a lot of crazies and waste a lot of time with women who weren’t prescreened. You may lose the emotional closeness and connection that basic human beings have and may start seeing women as numbers. You may become a “social robot”.
Philosophy two: Solid game.
Some players feel that it’s better to go as far as you can with a woman while you are there with her in order to keep her from flaking on you. The more you build comfort and attraction with a woman the same day you meet her, the more likely she will meet up with you again. Getting numbers isn’t successful to a man who plays solid game.
Pros: All of the phone numbers you have are numbers of women who were prescreened and have the qualities you look for in women. Most of the women you call will call you back and see you again. You connect with a lot of people and gain excellent skill at gaining rapport quickly.
Cons: Requires a lot of investment in time spent gaming each woman. You may only wind up with at most two numbers in one night, sometimes with none. You can become extremely frustrated when a woman flakes on you and take rejection personally, especially if you invested four hours of conversation with her. If there are many woman in a venue that you want to meet, you won’t be comfortable trying to get all of their numbers and will stick to one all night.
In my opinion, it is best to practice both philosophies. In the early stages of your practicing, go numbers game. You need the practice of opening and getting the number. Getting comfortable with rejection and absorbing yourself in the game will help you grow tremendously. After you become pretty sufficient at opening and getting numbers, ease away from it. Begin screening women and gaming one woman at the venue you are at if you really like her. Find a happy medium between the two. You will know when you are there. Only field experience will tell you where a good place for you is.
Keep it real.
MDC Executive Dating Coach