How to Lead Women
Today I decided to answer a reader email.
Hi Dan,
I would like help on how to lead women. Can you resolve a situation I encountered recently? I’d like to correct this so it doesn’t happen again in the future. I was in a situation where I was talking to a group of 3 girls. I had a specific girl I was into, but all 3 were giving me signals of interest. I talked to the girl I like first, then her cousin, fairly hot herself, and then a mutual friend to both of them who I wasn’t attracted to. I was having an energetic conversation with all three and it seemed I knew how to lead women in conversation. The 3rd, unattractive girl was easily the best conversationalist of the 3, and took initiative to outmaneuver the other 2.
My problem was I had little to no interest in girl 3 and I don’t know how to lead women. Compounding this, the girls had apparently talked amongst each other and decided that girl 3 liked me the most and the other 2 would bow out.
I need to learn how to lead women and keep them from deciding who I get to date.
Sincerely,
Tim from Miami
MY REPLY:
I really feel bad for guys like you. It really sucks to have three women fighting over you, doesn’t it?
The answer to your question about how to lead women is to be proactive. The difference between a proactive and reactive person is that the reactive person thinks that getting the girl is entirely a luck factor, but the proactive person has the skills and control needed to make luck for himself.
Onto your situation. Remember, if you allow luck to dictate what woman you will get, you will always get the worst option. You mustn’t allow them to choose who you should date.
Here’s how to lead women:
Command the group of women, be the alpha, and don’t allow the girls to converse with themselves over who should have you. If they start talking about it say, “Are you guys playing match maker? I’ll choose for myself.” Then you can start asking who can cook, who gives great backrubs, or whatever qualifier you want to throw in there. Whatever the girl you are interested says, tease her and say, “Well she’s trying the hardest so I think I’ll date her.” Say all this playfully.
However, if you want to know how to lead the group properly, you should not allow them to even get in that kind of conversation amongst themselves. Be assertive and go for the girl you want. Make that decision for them. Don’t be embarrassed to straight up ask the girl you’re interested for her number in front of her friends. That’s how to lead women and convey confidence. Most of the time, women value the opinion of their social circle more than they value their own opinion so make sure the friends like you. They will be encouraging her to answer your call and constantly ask “how are things going with that cute guy?”
Here’s a recap on how to lead women. Command the group. Have fun chatting them up. Don’t allow them to completely hijack the conversation or decide which girl you can pick up. If you feel you are losing control, interrupt and start a new conversation. However, when trying to learn how to lead women, you don’t have to dominate every aspect of the group and conversation, as long as it is going the direction you want it to go.
There are other factors when learning how to lead women. If you are having problems with people who try to block you, there are different strategies. If it is a person who opened the group to steal them away from you, plow through and ignore them or playfully bust the guy in a condescending way if he’s being disrespectful to you. For example, here’s how to lead women when a guy is trying to tool you, say, “Hey man, you’re pretty good at getting women’s attention. I love how you lean in and try really hard. Ladies, isn’t he doing a great job?”
If the person is someone in the group like a friend or cousin, this is trickier. You can’t disrespect them like the guy above. must win them over before you can game your interest. You can’t ignore them or be condescending to them because they are someone whom the women respect. Running game and getting the entire group liking your company is almost a necessity before you can work the woman you like.
Don’t be afraid to crash, burn, and totally mess up by furiously attempting to dominate the set. Working outside of your comfort zone is the only way to get better on how to lead women and get socially calibrated. You’ll eventually learn how to lead women when you’re trying too hard. If you want to make a huge headway into social dynamics and how to lead women, then I highly recommend you take one my dating boot camps.
Your Dating Coach,
Dan Silverman
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