In today’s Newsletter, a very special guest has written an article for all of you out there in the community. She is a woman and her nick name is Goobette. Goobette and I dated for a period of time, and she wrote this article just a few days after we became official. Goobette was once the official MDC Fashion Consultant. This is a person who I have shared my innermost thoughts with. She is exquisitely skilled with inner game philosophy and emotions and has picked up the game faster than any woman I have ever met. Her article is about fear, fear of the unknown, fear of (gulp) relationships!…
Take it away, Goobette!
Goobette on Fear
Jester and I have been together now for a whopping… 6 days. Five months of dating and things just fell into place, but they didn’t just slide in. It took some work and all that work came from a fear, a fear that I’m sure we’ve all set roots in.
For the past few weeks Jester and I have been playing ping pong with our emotions and my dear audience, I’m the cause of that. Of course here I was, in love with a PUA who seemed to love me back but was torn with the thought of committing himself to one girl. I, no doubt, told myself over and over that it was me; he wasn’t into me that way; because no matter what they tell you, women are insecure and battle with their inner insecurities no matter how much of a HB they are.
But in the end, it was Jester’s insecurities about relationships and commitment that was the stopping ground. That’s why he asked me to write this letter. I’ve told him some things in the past few weeks that he wanted me to share with you all.
So, there I was, dating someone I had fallen for and was still not where society said we should have been by now: in a relationship. We were attracted to each other mentally, physically and emotionally and yet something kept stopping us. It loomed over everything like that big pink elephant in the room. Now don’t get me wrong, it never kept us from having fun, or loving each other, but it did keep us from moving on. It was hard to express and still is, but after a while it just all came out. We figured it out together one night. It was simple yet complex (if you can believe that). What we discovered was that relationships are scary. Yes folks. After months of push/pull, give/take, and dancing around the issue we came to the conclusion that relationships and everything that goes along with them are scary.
So again, there I was, stuck between a rock and a hard place with no idea what to do with this new found information. I had found out by now that Jester was a man I wanted to commit to, but he still wasn’t there. I know many of you have been there, maybe some of you are there now being stopped at the door with a fear of the unknown, but I will tell you all what I told Jester and hope that it helps.
Relationships are scary. Okay yes, we all know that, but tell me in all honesty what in this world isn’t scary?
Nothing truly satisfying or worth anything in this world isn’t scary and on top of that, hard.
For example, after four years of stretching every dollar, studying till the wee hours of the morning, and fearing that they’re going to fail, students get their diplomas and are ready for careers. After nine months of pain in every inch of the body, growing fatter everyday, and fearing that they’ll fail their child, women give birth and are ready to become mothers.
All journeys scary… all worth it in the end.
Yes, that college graduate may not get a dream job, and that mother could raise a bratty child but the thing to remember is that they’ll never know the great satisfaction that they might have, until they try and the same runs true for relationships. When you know that a girl is the right person to give your heart to, it’s time to take that plunge. Yes the relationship could end on a sour note. You could never talk to each other again, she could cheat on you, you could cheat on her. All those are possibilities, but the world comes laced with good as well as bad and this relationship could end up being everything you always wanted or never knew you always wanted. She could be just another relationship you end up telling your son about over fishing and a Corona, or she could be the one you end up sharing your son with. You never know until you try. There may always be that fear lying deep inside that this one may sting a bit, but remember stinging is the first step to a healing wound and a broken heart won’t kill us.
In fact, I’ve learned that after they heal, broken hearts leave small gaps in the cracks to allow for someone to sneak in later. And they sneak in when you least expect it.
In the end, I’ve learned that we can’t let our fears govern our lives. We couldn’t live life to the fullest if something tiny like fear stood in the way of greatness. Amazing things like having someone revel in your accomplishments, wipe your tears when things go wrong, love you for everything you are and everything you will become, and be there when your fears get the most of you are what giving yourself to someone is all about. We may always be afraid of the hardships and the possibilities of failure, especially in relationships, but in the end, we have to remember that we can’t control love, that’s the price that we pay for the privilege of sharing it with someone special. When it comes down to it, whether we succeed in this love or not all we can do is be thankful that we were given the opportunity to share that with someone, and if it fails, hope that the next time it comes along it’s there to stay; and we’ll never know unless we try.
Think about what I’ve said and make the best decision for you. That’s all you can do. On the last note, I’ve been hurt in the past and know what it’s like to fear, but I also know now what it’s like to look that fear in the eye and tell it that something has come along that can beat it’s ass down!
Play a good Game out there… and remember, no fears!
-Goobette-
Last Thoughts From Dan:
Adorable isn’t she? We have since broke up, but neither of us have regretted the wonderful relationship we went through. Because we continued to bite fear in the ass, we have both worked together to continue a friendship that has lasted to this day. Thanks for taking your time to share this with the community.
Things I have learned in this experience:
-Everything that is memorable in life are the things that make us feel the most intense.
-Chaos and emotional turmoil precedes great self-change.
-Relationships are good for you.
-Make sure you take a good long time before you decide to get in a relationship with someone, lest you find yourself in a 4 year long chore, or a one week long slingshot to the sky followed by a nose dive to the ground.
-All good things must come to and end, so don’t fear the inevitable.
-And last but not least, you can’t practice David Shade’s Manual, extremely advanced sexual techniques, without a girlfriend.
Keep it Real and Do What’s Right,
Dan Silverman,
MDC Executive Dating Coach
“Beneath that tough exterior, she was scared. All her push-pull wasn’t a pre-planned psychological tactic; it was her heart warring with her head. Perhaps the reason she’d been so reluctant to open up was that she was protecting something fragile inside. Like me, she was afraid to actually feel something for somebody else – to love, to be vulnerable, to give someone else control over her happiness and well-being.”
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