I was recently asked questions about dating from a very mainstream dating site. I decided to post my answers for you guys in the newsletter. Enjoy!
Dinner and a movie is so overdone. What are some creative dating ideas?
As a single man, the best “date” is one that is low pressure and has built in conversation. The whole point of a date is to build comfort. When a girl thinks it’s a “date”, this instantly puts a lot of pressure on her. Frame it as “hanging out” and she will less likely flake on you. Taking a girl out to a local hotspot with lots of shops and bars, or any other location where you can bounce from place to place is best. The more locations you can take her to in one day, the better. This will create more memories of being with you, build more trust, and comfort than if you were to go to just one place. The great thing about this is it’s cheap. That way you don’t go broke going out on dates all the time.
What should you do if your date refuses to let you pay for the bill?
Avoid this situation in the first place. Go on dates where you don’t have to spend money. You shouldn’t pay for a woman to impress her and win her over. You should pay because you want to. If you decide to pay for your date, and she refuses to let you pay. Let her. Money should not be an issue. If she wants to pay for you, you should jokingly tell her, “Okay, but don’t think this means I’m going home with you.”
Why can’t I ever get past a first date? How do I hook up for seconds?
Most of the time, it’s because you did something wrong on your first date. Don’t act needy, don’t interview her, don’t supplicate, don’t talk about your emotional problems, don’t make yourself look like a dumbass. When you talk to her, you should be trying to evoke emotions in her. Don’t converse logically. Talking about an amazing experience you had last week or making fun of an odd couple by the bar is much better than talking about politics or religion.
How can I use body language to seduce my date?
As a man, you need to lean back. Most men are too eager to please their date. They lean in and act overly interested on a first date. This communicates desperation. When you lean back, have open body language, take up space, and maintain eye contact with her, it shows a lot of confidence. Not to mention that she will feel like she needs to win you over.
As a woman, your body should move slowly and feminine. A lot of women move around jerky like nervous poodles. Your body language should be open, smooth and flowing. Lightly touch or caress areas of your body that you want him to focus on.
What’s the best way to ask someone about their sexual history?
Don’t. People almost always lie when you ask them this question anyway. Just trust your intuition. You probably already know how many guys/girls he or she has slept with.
I’m very attracted to someone but I don’t want to make the first move. In what ways can I show that I’m interested without being too explicit?
If you’re a man, you better get used to making the first move, because a woman almost never will. She is expecting you to be a man and make the first move. So if you sense that she is attracted to you, make the first move already or else you will be stuck in the friend zone.
If you’re a woman, unfortunately, a lot of men don’t understand the clues you may be giving off. You have to speak directly with men. You can sometimes make it easy by setting up situations where he could easily make a move, but as a woman, why would you want to do that?
What are some absolute “don’ts” when it comes to setting up a seduction scene?
1. Not having a sanitary bathroom.
2. Not having a made bed.
3. Not having some kind of drinks or food to offer her.
4. Not having a clean and tidy house.
5. Not having condoms and lubrication easily accessible.
6. Not having a non-sexual interactive activity to do so she can get comfortable first.
7. Not having a flexible game plan that covers all options.
I’m ready to share my kinky sexual habits with my new partner, but I’m scared she’ll be freaked out. Any advice?
You would be surprised at how much more kinky your woman may be. The best way to introduce any new kind of kinky sexual habits is to masturbate her. When she get’s highly aroused, you can say any nasty thing you want to her, as long as you say it with complete confidence. Paint pictures of you and her doing those kinky things in her mind by speaking a fantasy in her ear. She’s now done those things with you in her mind. You can now safely bring it to reality without rejection.
I’ve been seeing this guy online for a while. We want to have cyber-sex. Any tips for an enjoyable first time?
Why have cybersex when you can do the real thing? If you are really eager to try cybersex, the trick is to write sensual. Involve all the senses and describe everything in rich detail. Men enjoy when you describe sight. Paint pictures of body parts doing fun things. Women enjoy emotions and sensations. Describe how she will feel when you are doing certain things. This can also be done over the phone.
I just moved to a new city. How do I break into the dating scene?
If you know the kind of men/women you like, go out to places where they are. I like Latinas and dancers, so I go out to salsa clubs. When you don’t know anyone in a city, go out to a nearby bar or club and meet people. Get numbers like crazy of both men and women. The ones that call you back and meet up with you are your new friends, and you can date the hot friends they may happen to bring along.
My friend just broke up with his girlfriend, and I think she is very attractive. When is it appropriate for me to start making the moves on her?
As a general rule, you should never date a friend’s ex girlfriend. This is a very subjective question because time is a huge factor. When you sense that he is over her, ask his permission with a lot of respect. If he says no, you will lose your friend if you go against his wishes. I wouldn’t recommend hooking up with a friend’s ex because most relationships don’t always actually “break up” after a breakup.
Thanks for reading!
Dan Silverman,
MDC Executive Dating Coach
“I wouldn’t recommend hooking up with a friend’s ex because most relationships don’t always actually “break up” after a breakup.”
-Jester-
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