In this newsletter, I had a long time friend, Scott, share his random thought on dating that he sent to me recently. In high school, Scott was the typical player. He was always dating different attractive girls. He fell in love once he left to university and settled down for awhile. He is a natural that I admire because his views on relationships and dating aren’t negative and unhealthy. Enjoy the read.
A Random Thought on Dating:
The thing that surprises me the most about dating is the binary relationship of two separate individuals. Each relationship is defined by the principal desires and characteristics of the individuals of the relationship. I find most people lack the essential confidence to see themselves outside of a relationship and fear a possibility of being alone or having to separate themselves from a relationship they have ingrained as necessary in their lives. The truth is we, as individuals, cannot control the open loops of life, the decisions of another person, or even situations out of our control. I find that most people suffer greatly from having to make too many personal sacrifices to make someone else happy.
I believe in relationships and I believe in love. I think the majority of people in relationships have an opportunity to distance themselves from the rest of the world and are able to embrace a wonderful unique experience that allows two people to connect on a level that is kept separate from all other people in their lives. Too often, I hear of hopes and expectations that are almost impossible to live up to. It’s rare to come across but many relationships exist without the pressures of long term commitment. I think life is all about finding a specific calling. For some people that calling is marriage. They cannot even consider dating someone unless it is someone they could marry. My greatest advice is to know yourself. You have a lot more to bring to a relationship when you have a clearer sense of what makes you happy and it is impossible to try and live your life to make someone else happy all the time. Our whole culture is over-run by images and stereotypes of how we should live and what standards to live by. The essence of our individuality is commonly drowned along the message of following the norm. Relationships are no different. Dating someone has a huge impact on your life but as you approach dating, don’t see it as an effort to find your one true love. Dating is an opportunity to find the things you like and dislike in a relationship and to have fun. Be independent, don’t make too many early sacrifices, and let someone come to know and appreciate the real you. You don’t have to be serious with someone to open yourself out to the world of dating.
Thanks for reading.
MDC Executive Dating Coach
“I find most people lack the essential confidence to see themselves outside of a relationship and fear a possibility of being alone or having to separate themselves from a relationship they have ingrained as necessary in their lives.”