was founded by Dan Silverman in October of 2006 in Miami, Florida as a resource to learn the art of self-improvement, approaching, attraction, dating, confidence building, personal growth, and social skills. We have experience working with people from all walks of life as old as 65 and as young as 17. We also have experience working with students with disabilities such as Asperger’s Syndrome and deafness.
Miami Dating Coach’s mission is to provide an ethical, self-improvement focused approach to socializing and dating, without the expense of changing your values or personality. We welcome everyone to call or email for a free consultation on how dating coaching or matchmaking works. Thank you for visiting Miami Dating Coach!
Below, you will find mini-biographies of the team.
Dan Silverman is a graduate of the University of Miami with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Theatre and an MBA from the College of Business Administration from the University of Miami. Dan’s employment experience consists of professional acting and mime, while also teaching the art in schools all over Miami. He also worked as an office manager in his father’s private practice in psychology for 3 years. Dan is the founder and President of Miami Dating Coach.
Letter from Dan Silverman:
Thank you for checking out my website and researching who I am and what my company is about.
I consider myself to be a gamer dork who tries to lives a balanced lifestyle. I don’t think people should define themselves by how “cool” they are. Seeking approval from others only leads to unhappiness. A lot of the dating advice out there is either BS and too sugar coated, or it’s manipulative pick up artist tactics that usually do more harm than good. Although I have studied the dark arts, I rarely apply these techniques and only teach a few of the ones I find beneficial to my clients. What I primarily focus on with clients is building true inner confidence, deservedness, and developing a unique personality into a refined, attractive version of themselves. My ultimate goal for you is to have choice in who your partner is so you never have to settle. I help you become a more attractive and better person while still keeping your soul and your personality in tact. I tend to disassociate with a lot of the “gurus” in the dating community because there’s hardly a handful of them that, in my opinion, live a healthy lifestyle and are not extremely sketchy. I’m sure that while you were looking around for dating help, you had to come upon the websites of many of these characters and had a nasty feeling in the pit of your stomach about these guys. Many of them cannot maintain a healthy relationship, let alone maintain friendships. So, be glad you found my website and enjoy your experience as you use all I have created to offer you. I’ll tell you a little story about myself so that you can understand how I got to where I am now.
When I was in high school, I was the stereotypical “nice guy.” In fact, many of my friends to this day can’t believe and refuse to believe that I match-make and coach clients on how to attract people into their lives. I was a social kid, but could never attract a girl unless it was out of sheer luck. When I would find a girl, she would walk all over me or break my heart. I finally became fed up with my lack of success and decided that I will do whatever it took to fix this problem in my life called love. However, I didn’t want to become someone I wasn’t, or emotionally manipulate or treat women abusively, so I didn’t go the path that most aspiring “players” go. I studied for years and years on any topic related to dating and attraction. I read countless books, listened to CDs, and watched seminars. I spent hours upon hours practicing techniques that I learned or created myself until one day, I woke up in the morning and realized that I didn’t have that lonely feeling in the back of my mind anymore. I knew that if I wanted to, I could go out, attend a party, and likely meet an attractive woman who I could possibly date. I also knew that if ten women said no to me, it didn’t matter because there was always another one waiting for me around the corner. I then created an online community so that I could find wingmen to go and practice with. Until people started hiring me to wing them! I started teaching free seminars and coaching people for free for the fun of it because I loved to help people. When my phone was ringing off the hook from people who wanted me to coach them, I knew that I had to start a business. That’s when Miami Dating Coach was born. Since 2006, I have coached many students from different walks of life, and I even got into some wonderful long term relationships. I started to date women whom I actually chose, instead of by chance and it felt great. I went through two long term relationships since (1 year and 3 years). I am currently in a relationship with the love of my life, who I happened to meet while I was out filming myself picking up women. Yup! It’s the girl in the video. We have been dating since February of 2012. To this day, I continue to train people on how to have choice in their dating lives, and to never settle for anything less than what they want.
Dan Silverman,
Founder of Miami Dating Coach, LLC.
Personal Letter from Tony Ventura:
Tyler Durden: Now I’m 25, make my yearly call again. I say Dad, “Now what?” He says, “I don’t know, get married.”
Narrator: I can’t get married, I’m a 30 year old boy.
Tyler Durden: We’re a generation of men raised by women. I’m wondering if another woman is really the answer we need.
I guess I start my bio off with a quote from one of my favorite movies, Fight Club. This quote, often overlooked by even the biggest fans of the cult classic, is one of the greatest silent truths of our generation. We are a generation of men raised by women. My parents were divorced before my 2nd birthday. My dad was around when I was little, but he disappeared when I was 8 years old. Every time I look at some of my geekier friends, the ones who’ve had similar troubles with women like I once had, I see the same pattern. Either the dad was a deadbeat on the run owing child support, or dead, or he just didn’t care, or he was just so completely pussy whipped by his wife that he didn’t have the balls to try and show his son how to be a man.
My mother was no help. No mother ever can be, really. She tried her best to be both mom and dad. But when I would go to her for advice she’d tell me to make the girls nice gifts and bring them things. On one occasion my mom made me an incredibly gorgeous and expensive Valentine’s Day gift basket for a girl. None of this, of course, ever worked. She didn’t understand that she was telling me what she wanted my stepfather to do for her fifteen years into a relationship, not what girls wanted me to do for them before they even knew I was alive. My grandmother’s strict religious upbringing made things even worse. Even looking at girls was a sin! And I was going to hell if I did it!
And so, on it went through my teens. On the very rare occasion I grew just enough balls to talk to a girl I still didn’t have enough balls to attract them. I was always shot down, most often brutally and viciously. I absolutely knew girls could never like me, and I learned this belief at a very young age. The worst if it came from my homecoming date. She offered to be my date about a month before homecoming in exchange for my taking her to this really expensive concert that I didn’t even care about. I wasn’t crazy about her, but she was pretty cute and charming. So I obliged. So about a week before homecoming I pull her aside one day after school to start making plans for the big day. She tells me she doesn’t ever remember making that deal and she already has another date! Worse still, I had another equally cute girl ask me to homecoming and I turned her down because I thought I already had a date. Regardless to say, I didn’t go at all. It really wasn’t until I was about 19 or so and school was just months from being over that I had the realization that I needed to put myself out there more, put more effort into it, and stop running and hiding every single time I had one rejection. I was way too anti-social to find other ways of meeting girls then, and my social life as I knew it was about to end. Then things at home took a turn for the worse.
My stepfather kicked us out of the house. He had finally grown out of control. My mom, my kid brother, and myself, found ourselves living in a single cramped room at my grandmothers. And I, having been raised very innocently and sheltered, had to very, very quickly grow up, be the man of the house, and find a way to provide for us. I couldn’t let my mom, and worse, my 8 year old brother suffer. I would end up working for us for about 3 years, sometimes travelling up and down all over the state. During this entire time I grew even more isolated from girls. Working for my stepfather later, it would be more than 5 years since I had started that I forcefully put that business to a stop. This all made me incredibly lonely. And, I was about 21 or so, when I finally snapped and broke down completely.
The only contact I had had with girls since high school came in the form of one of the few friends I had kept since then. So at that point, I really felt like she was my last and only hope left in the world. But, I was friends with her boyfriend, too, who’s self confidence and emotional issues ran even deeper than mine. He didn’t know at all how to make her happy and they were just torturing each other. That’s when another friend came into the picture, a friend I had met online from half way across the country. His parents were kicking him out of the house and he was about to find himself out on the street. I had my run of our own place at the time, and money. I told him to come down and I’d take care of him. I put a roof over his head and food in his stomach; gave him a new life. They knew each other through a game we played together and I told him well before he met her how I felt about her and to not get involved. He wouldn’t make 3 weeks in Miami before he went behind my back and took her for himself. He even lied to her about my own feelings for her because she refused to get involved with him if it meant hurting me. She already knew, of course. But he convinced her it wasn’t true. By the time she realized what had happened, she swore up and down that him and I had just had a “miscommunication” and did everything in her power to justify him after the deed was done. She pretty much told me I should have had the balls to confess to her first, even though she refused to admit now with her new boyfriend that she would have ever accepted me. I would find out much later through other friends that he had the entire thing planned the whole time. That was the breaking point. I couldn’t take my loneliness and my desperation anymore. I grew to hate myself and my life completely.
I grew to become suicidal, and the only reason I didn’t do it was because I couldn’t bear to put my family, and my good friends through that. But I had no will at all to live. I stopped eating and lost 30 lbs almost overnight. I went for almost 2 months without shaving or even bathing. My loyal friends pretty much kept me on suicide watch daily. My mother tried to force me to medicate, begging me with tears in her eyes. I’d just lie around on the couch for hours on end. Those hours would often turn into days. Even my cat, Houdini, knew something went terribly wrong with me. I thought I was alone; that I was the only man in the world who had it this bad and was going through this. I thought there was no help for me at all out there. I just gave up… completely. I told myself that was it, and that I had to accept that I would never have a woman in my life and I would never find happiness. I told myself that it simply wasn’t meant for me. I withdrew from my life, not externally, but internally, secretly. I would go on to balloon to almost 350 lbs. Life would be a spectator sport for me because I wouldn’t dare allow myself to get hurt again. I would be almost 25 years old before I even had my first kiss.
She was the ex-girlfriend of a friend of mine. She and I actually spent quite a bit of time alone while they were still dating, and during those times, you could cut the sexual tension with a knife. I didn’t know it then, because I didn’t believe in myself even remotely, but a part of me had the slightest inkling that maybe, just maybe, she might be attracted to me. I had no idea. I wasn’t crazy about her at the time, per se, but she is still absolutely the rawest, most sexually powerful girl I have ever met. I’m not the only one who’s made that observation either. There was just something about her. I chalk it up to some kind of hormonal imbalance, or pheromone overdrive, or something. I’m not really sure. While they dated, I didn’t dare to lift a finger against him, and even after they broke up. The break up, though, changed him. He became addicted to online games, and started lashing out at all his friends. Despite my best efforts to help him and be there for him, one day, I just decided I had it and severed ties with him. I then gave myself permission to go and look for her. And it didn’t take long at all before we wound up in bed together one night. She of course did all of the work. I had “gotten lucky” literally and metaphorically. I just managed to not fuck it up long enough for her to aggress. In the middle of it all I made the big mistake of admitting to her that I had never even kissed a girl before that night. That almost sent her running for the hills, but she still went through with it, out of pity I guess. And, seeing as she was the only success I ever had up to that point, I grew to fall for her, in hindsight, mostly out of desperation. She, of course, realizing just how gutless I really was, got back with another of her ex-boyfriends just the next day, insisted it was just sex, and would become just as cruel and heartless as every other girl in my life. But, this time, I was motivated to stop giving up on myself. I had no idea what to do. I didn’t even believe that I actually could change my life. I just felt like I actually had to try again, even if I spent the rest of my life getting rejected, it was better than sitting around doing nothing about it.
Of course, like any good anti-social, nerdy introvert completely lacking in self-confidence I resorted to online dating at first. And it… was… horrible… I did manage to land a few dates, for the first time since high school. But the old “prison sex” metaphor kept coming up. What I was wanting, I wasn’t getting, and what I was getting, I definitely wasn’t wanting. However, I was learning something, very slowly, one interaction at a time. I finally began to realize, as crazy as it sounded, that women didn’t want a nice guy who would do everything they wanted and they could just walk all over. Unfortunately, I still didn’t understand what it was that I needed to do right, just what I was doing wrong.
It was in this time period that I saw the movie Hitch. It didn’t dawn on me at first, but the movie left an impression on me. It left an idea in the back of my mind that I spent a few months chewing on. What if, maybe, I’m not the only one going through this? What if there are other guys out there who know about my problems, and can help me? It was the holiday season of ‘07. And the loneliness, as usual, was hitting me a little harder during that time of year. Thinking back on the movie, though, one night I finally decided to try this absolutely crazy and ridiculous idea. I would try to do a GOOGLE SEARCH! I would try and see if maybe there was a real life Hitch out there who could help me. I put in the words “dating coach” at first and started looking through pages. That was no help. All these guys were on the other side of the country and wanted to charge me thousands and thousands of dollars plus flying them all the way out here from god knows where to teach me how to decorate my house, learn to cook, and dress a little better. So I told myself, “let’s look for something a little more local: Miami dating coach.” I had finally hit the mother lode. I spent days on Dan’s website just looking it over, reading and re-reading, and reading yet again. I knew, this guy was right about everything. I finally knew what my big problem was: attraction. I had no concept or understanding of attraction. I had worked so hard to teach myself to be that great guy who knows how to treat a woman right, but never learned how to get them interested in the first place, and never understood that these were two completely different things. And this problem coupled itself with my deep insecurities. I finally had the idea, albeit it was still very vague at this point, that I had been my own worst enemy my whole life. I absolutely knew he could help me. But, it was a bit pricey on my budget. I had to get my heart thrown in the blender one more time before I would stop making excuses and take the plunge. But I still turned back to his website over and over for the next 8 months.
I worked retail at the time and she had to have been my favorite customer. The most gorgeous blonde hair I’ve ever seen and I don’t even like blondes, killer blue eyes, the body of a goddess, and the personality to boot. She was even more of a dry, sarcastic, smart ass than I was. She threatened to kill me if I didn’t solve her dilemma with my company. And it was love at first threat, or something like that. She would come in on occasion and we would flirt back and forth, but I still didn’t know what I was doing and still had no self confidence at all. Then she invited me to come have a few drinks at the restaurant where she worked. I jumped at the chance. But… again, I still didn’t know what I was doing. Over the next 4 months this girl would just throw herself at me, not aggressing, but subtly, sub-communicating, begging me to be a man and to take her. But I couldn’t. I still couldn’t believe that I deserved this. I couldn’t believe or understand that it was actually possible that this girl, not just any girl but this one out of all of them, could actually be attracted to me. She would choose me over any other guy? It was impossible. I kept telling myself she only thought of me as a friend. I knew I had been a wimp my whole life, but I still didn’t know how to act like a man. So, rather than take what I wanted, I instead punished her, brutally, every time she didn’t give me what I wanted from her. I was very abusive with her. Don’t get me wrong, she was worse than I was, but nobody deserves to hear some of the things I told her. And once again, when she realized I had absolutely no self confidence, everything changed, and I lost any chance I had with her. Eventually between my verbal and emotional abuse, and her own personal demons I decided I couldn’t bear to see her or speak to her anymore. She decided the same thing. And I decided… that she would be the last girl that would ever put me through this again. I called Dan.
I still remember my first conversation with him. I was an utter mess, a complete wreck, or so I thought. I thought I was going to be the biggest challenge of this man’s career. Either that or even he couldn’t help me and I truly was hopeless. As usual, I still had no idea. I had seen a few of these so-called “pick up guru’s” out on the internet. You know the ones; deceptive, manipulative, and shady to the point they make your skin crawl. But, they taught a lot on the subject of attraction, like Dan. So I was expecting something similar out of him. And when I met him, boy was I disappointed. He… was completely… normal. He didn’t dress like he got shot out of a cannon through a carnival supply warehouse. He wasn’t even remotely a scumbag and didn’t advocate it at all either. This guy was a regular human being, not some self-exalted pick-up demigod. I knew instantly he was completely trustworthy and I didn’t hesitate to sign on the dotted line. I was finally going to get the help I so desperately needed.
My boot camp came and went pretty normal, like so many of Dan’s clients I have seen after me. Of course then I was sweating bullets the whole time. I went out, met girls, had some fun, got a phone number or two, even met some girls who really were attracted to me. I had no idea still, though. All of this was great, and scary, but somewhere deep down inside, still a little fun. This wasn’t what changed me, though. This wasn’t what transformed my life and made me do a 180 degree turn. It was what came after the boot camp. It was Dan’s specialty and what sets him apart from every other dating coach out there. It was my Inner Game Consultation with him. And it was, without a doubt, the most important 3 hours of my life.
When I came to Dan, I felt like a freak of nature; a monster. I felt like something was horribly wrong with me. And I knew whatever it was, was primarily in my head. But as usual, I knew what I was doing wrong, but still didn’t know what to do right. In just 3 hours, Dan changed all that for me. Don’t get me wrong, the transformation didn’t happen overnight. When exactly did it happen? I don’t know. Hell, I’m not sure if it’s entirely over. What I know, is that ever since then, I’ve learned to stop doubting myself. I no longer panic and worry myself to sleep at night without hope of ever finding that special someone. I’ve learned that both myself, and every malicious girl who ever told me something about myself, were completely wrong. I knew what to do right. I knew where my life was headed. And I knew I wasn’t going to find just anyone either. I knew I was never going to have to settle. I knew everything was going to be OK. But, more than anything, I knew that I had to pay it forward. I knew I couldn’t just receive this help, this gift of karma, and keep it to myself. I knew there were a lot of other guys out there hurting just as bad as I had been, or worse, and that they had options they weren’t aware of. I knew, then, eventually, I would wind up working for him.
It’s been over three years since I took my boot camp with Dan. Three very long years, long because it takes a bit of work to even go back in my mind to who I used to be before that. It’s been three challenging years, but not hard ones. I realize know that the damage I did to myself then was infinitely harder than what I’ve done to fix it. Most importantly, though. It’s been three fun years. I still haven’t found Miss Right, but that’s perfectly fine. Hell, with my standards being what they are now it could be another three years, or more. But if it is another three years, the next three will be just as fun and wonderful as the last three.
This was very long, I know. But, if you are looking to work with Dan or myself, and you’re still reading this, then I already know something about you before I’ve even met you. You are me. You have been through what I have been. You are where I was over three years ago. My story probably sounds a lot like yours, and it resonated with you. And, just like me, you will learn that you are not hopeless. You will learn that you had no idea.
-Tony Ventura-